It is
very true to say that almost everybody lie at some point in their life. A recent article cited a study that
as many as 96 percent of Nigerians have lied to someone close to them.
However,
I would assert that 100% of men have told themselves one of the following lies.
Each of these lies plays into a stereotype or fiction of contemporary manhood
that’s ultimately unhealthy and destructive.
1. I am contented with what I have!!!
Obviously
this is an awful lie most men tell themselves. Contentment no doubt is a
difficult virtue to attain; if you leave for yourself you will never be
contented. Everybody at some point envisage how he wants his world to be
exactly. We want our spouse to fulfill our expectations and agenda, we want our
children to conform to pre-written plan we have ordained for them to fulfill and
we
want everything else to fall into its perfect niche in the little cupboard we’ve
compartmentalized every element of existence.
That experience of course is not contentment. The simple truth be told is that we all have aspirations in our world and if that be the case, it simply means that we are not satisfied with what we have.
That experience of course is not contentment. The simple truth be told is that we all have aspirations in our world and if that be the case, it simply means that we are not satisfied with what we have.
2. No
hurry in life!!!
The
older I get the more often I hear this particular bit of blather thrown about
whether it’s in the school, at the gym, on the streets, offices and viewing
centers. A lot of guys who believe this huge lie are also the ones who define a
successful life as something as precise to be early 30's. If that be the case,
there is need for one to hurry and milk the day to increase their pockets and
bank account. This is because as human; we are always looking to other people
and what they have accomplished. Some lazy men capitalize on this cliche lines
to rest and waste their gainful moments while they ought to be out there
sourcing and conceiving greatness to breakthrough self-limiting behaviors and
thought patterns.
3. I’ll be happy if I get…
This untruth relegates happiness to an
unobtainable futuristic state that will never occur,
because once you begin the chase of obtaining external things as a condition of happiness you’ll never achieve happiness, it will always be associated with the “next thing” rather than the now.
Many people perceive happiness as a treasure;
hence they try to indulge themselves in so many absurdities to get it.
Happiness is not a treasure hunt. Happiness might best be described as a state
of internal contentment marked by gratitude for the things you have and the
people in your life.
A lot
of men are guilty of this horrendous lie
, They are busy chasing after fame, fortune,
things, prestige and other trivialities, which of course is not a source of
happiness; in fact, the chase is likely to make you miserable in life.
4. I don’t need anyone else—I can go it
alone!!!
This is the lie of “rugged individualism” most often foisted upon us via the media in
the form of movie characters, fictionalized novels, pickup truck commercials,
certain genres of music, cigarette ads in magazines… just to name a few.
This is the most ludicrous lie of them all
because we all need somebody—we are social creatures that crave
connection above almost everything else.
Seventeenth century priest and writer, “John Donne” debunks this particular
falsehood with his famous phrase.
“No
man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a
part of the main…”
This portrays that each of us plays a role
and must occur within the social context of others. A lot of men are guilty of
this terrible lie; it has really made them unhappy due to its unrealistic reality.
5. My value as a person is defined by my
(job, bank account, car, status … etc.)!
Of all
the falsehoods on this list, this is by far the most destructive because every
one of us has an intrinsic value as a human on this planet with recourse to the
Bible which states that value is unconnected to the trappings of wealth, our
possessions, or economic contributions to society. I must confess each of us
has inherent worth.
Ultimately, we have the final say about who
we are and the type of life we will live—don’t let your final say be packed
with self-fulfilling lies which will activate your self-destruction.
Wrap
up
The aforementioned have become great excuses to hide. The question to ask ourselves whenever
these thoughts arise is, “What would be possible if I didn’t believe
all these to be true?”
Read other post from this author here
Read other post from this author here
Peter Williams Obi is a christian, poet, and a communicator. He holds a degree in Mass Communication from Cross River University of Technology Calabar. His works have appeared in reputable publications. He has written and staged many plays like; "Occupy till i come", "The Faith of man","Inside relationship" ... among others. Connect on Facebook: Peter Williams Obi
Got a suggestion for us?
E-mail: majorpanedmajorfactor@gmail.com
Comments
Post a Comment
Your comment can save a life...don't be selfish with it *winks*