CARELESS

   When was the last time that cool friend of yours called to check up on you or that cute girl you regularly buzz, thought of you and decided to return your call or text? As for me its 1% of my contact I get to communicate with and majority times I am the one that infuse the communication until...lately… I figured out a secret.

   I posted an article sometime back “Rogue Nation: Cold Cold Heart” to reveal how uncaring the world we live in is. Recently, I got to figure out people aren’t caring enough due to series of unfortunate events their care brought their way.

   We care because we feel some people are angels or might be of help later in the future based on how small the world is (Check out the last post Small World) or simply because our religious background mandate us to be caring.

   I watched two movies few weeks back that prompted the ideas in this article. The first movie “Knock Knock” Starring Keanu Reeves (oh yea the matrix guy)…he was an ordinary architect in the movie, starved of sex by his wife. When his lovely family went for camp on father’s day, a knock on his door changed his entire life. Two strange beautiful girls drenched and stranded in his neighborhood pleaded he let them use his phone to call SOS. He kept them warm, gave them hot coffee, dry cleaned their cloths and boom… Things started getting out of control, he tried pulling the plugs but it was too late. What happened next got him losing almost everything including his family.

   The other movie, “Hunting Season” starring Robert De Niro and John Travolta. Two veterans of the Bosnian war, one American (Robert De Niro), one Serbian (John Travolta) find themselves on each other throat after the Serbian Soldier survived a gun shot fired at him by the American soldier (execution murder style). The Serbian soldier went to seek revenge by hunting his executioner, little did his executioner know that the stranger that helped him fixed his car in the woods was the Serbian soldier now looking different. The American soldier gave the stranger a lift home thinking he was stranded, gave him food, chatted, drank together, made a toast, played warm country music and boom things got mixed up when they went for hunting the next day. They find themselves hunting their head as past memories and stories stirred up anger.

   Okay after been exposed to these two movies, I’m sure viewers are likely to reduce the way they give aids to strangers. Well to a large extent, everyone is over security conscious which so far is enlightening but from another angle, isn’t it what the devil wants “everyone in their shell that we can watch someone die in our very eyes and nothing is done in order not to have a missing life as well”

    From another trajectory, last year I witness couple of emotional instability especially from the angle of broken friendships. At first I couldn’t swallow the huge chunk of bullshit my caring lifestyle fetched me. It was indeed an eye opener which has led me to give you some tips on how to balance your caring lifestyle if yours is suicidal.

Don’t expect too much: I remember one time in my life when I expected people to give me same amount of care I sow into their life. When I get something short, it shuts me down fervently. I realized its complete bullshit. People would never give you all the care and attention you seek as much as the attention you give them.

So how should we react, when you make friend with someone new or get to be with a stranger, just be neutral, expect little or nothing much. Let them surprise you with their action rather than guessing and filling the reputation bar on their behalf.

"why is it that those who never care, love been cared for"

Don’t reveal too much: Yes we love to talk, tell people about whom we are, what we are into and what we want to be. But at some point I guess we need to put a pause at it. It’s extremely annoying telling someone a lot about you and getting to know little or nothing about them. So next time you come across a stranger or a new friend, take things slowly. Don’t jump to stage ten when you haven’t even finish stage one. Sit back and take the pen and paper in your mind and observe the individual.

State your principles: This is where many people get it all wrong. On the first meeting, it’s good you state your rules. You don’t have to do it bluntly, but there are ways you tell your new friend or stranger things you can swallow and things that made you chop someone’s head off. Reason is because people can get too comfortable which birth over familarity that results to negligence. 

I feel if Keanu Reeves had stated his principles and meant it in the movie “Knock Knock”, by now I might not be hungry for part 2 (that movie took my breath away, please return it)

Balance it: It’s with wisdom and maturity we get to know when to show care and when to play robot. You can’t be doing all the calls and texting alone either as friend or as lover. If anyone is not ready to reciprocate your affection or friendship mehn let them eat dust. 

Another definition of careless is "avoiding harm or errors"...in order words in as much as you might wanna be caring, you should ensure it won't harm you.

I lately ditched some friends because I do most of the communication and they come up with lame punch lines like “I’m not into chatting and calling”….yea right but you got whatsapp installed and I get to see you online. Gerrara here!!!

On the other hand, it doesn't hinder my enormous care i lavish on some others who are deliciously fabulous in infusing care in every fiber of my being. (I love you guys...i know you know yourself)

"If someone doesn’t care for you, others will, if others don’t, God will. God is everything".

This scripture guides my heart mehn

[1 Corinthians 13:5 MSG] …I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.

   It’s not your fault the world is uncaring but it’s your fault to be uncaring. Care is like a seed we sow and reap later either sparingly or bountifully.

   Let’s bear in mind these sensible words I posted on my facebook sometime last year.

Your personal deficiencies are not second or third party infused they are first person infused. If you are saying reason why you are uncaring is because those you were caring to take you for granted, it means you actually are uncaring in the first place. You were only trying to please them by acting caring. Focus your gaze on God and let your action be to please him either anyone is around you or not. That way when people identify with you, they feel nourished. If they choose to go, one day they will figure out you are indeed a worthy person.

 Don’t Quit Developing Yourself.

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