HEALTHY FRIENDSHIP By Newton Paul

*This article was edited by John Ovuson

Take a minute and think about the kind of people we spend most of our free time with, we regularly connect to certain group of people but do we understand the effect of these relationships in our lives?

Ask yourself:

What are these relationships doing to me?

I’m not talking about the dating kind of relationship but I’d be giving you some views on healthy friendship.

Who do we call friends?

Some people think friends are Cousins, classmates, neighbours and so on especially when we were growing up; not knowing we had these people as friends because we had no choice. If you observe, most of these friendships really or actually served no purpose in our lives.

For example; when I was little, Kelvin and I used to ride kites with bare chest, sometimes we do it naked. It was super fun then, but distance came in and I lost contact with Kelvin. Thank God for Facebook, we hooked up again; started catching up on old times, but the chat couldn’t last up to 30 minutes. Since then we have not chatted for like a month now, and I am sure 70 years from now, when I have my great grandchildren, I’m likely to receive an obituary flier stating Kelvin is late. I’d go for the burial with my community called family then I’d start saying how much Kelvin and I used to ride kites when we were little.

Well that’s not friendship.

Who do we call friends?

I ask again; Friends are people we choose to be with and them with us. People we can catch a grenade for just like Bruno Mars Song “Catch a Grenade”. But how can we achieve such kind of friendship? It’s not a fairy tale.

OQP: ONLY QUALITY PEOPLE

Select people with positive vibe into your life; people that all they say is positivity. They inspire and motivate you with their words and action. Believe me, they do little wonders you may not understand now but someday you will because positivity is contagious.

MUTUALITY AND SIMILARITY

There is a saying: “if the cost is more than the gain, let go”. No one likes to sow where he can’t reap. If the ‘ship’ in the ‘friendship’ is not sailing the right way, then use a life boat and leave before you get lost.

You have to be a friend with people that you connect with if not, it’s going to wreck on the rock of quarrel. You need to share similar ideas, behaviour, and mind-set. This way, you’re not trying to make someone like you.

Sometimes people tell me “Newton since I met you, everything changed for good”. Well I thank God for that and I can also marvel how my life has changed over the years due to the influence of some friends in my life.

That’s what a healthy friendship ought to be like.

CHOICE AND SOLUTIONS

You can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends. We spend most times with our friends more than family especially when we go to school, camp and other social outfit. This way, you have to be friends with the right people that trust and believe you because when we have problems, we share it with them and they give us advice which we all work towards resolving them.

Don’t take advantage of you, telling your friends all your problems; Keep some to yourself and work towards it, that way you get matured. Don’t isolate yourself to from your friends, you have to be available to them however, let them feel your presence in their lives.

PRINCIPLES

Being principled cautions the way your friends address you. I don’t drink beer nor do I smoke and I make it plain and straight to my friends. This way, I don’t have to isolate myself form them because if they are not cool with it at the first place, then I shouldn’t be hanging out with them nor they with me. Principles make your friends respect your wishes, desires and opinions over issues.

POSITIVE ATTITUDE

Maintain a positive attitude to the highest degree possible. It’s difficult to maintain a good friendship if your attitude is bad (you don’t expect to get a good result when you put in a bad attitude).

The only reason people tease or make fun of you when you are good is because they envy you but they can’t be like you. Well teasing has made lots of people deviate from their right attitude to rude attitudes which speak real badly of them. Do not depart from your good ways because people are watching you especially God our creator.

Some people are scared of making new friends; Hey!!! Don’t be scared or tired because new friends bring new ideas and give you room for improvement.

Remember birds of same feathers flock together; you become a product of your environment whether you want to believe it or not. Your friend determines your progress, success and failure. Yeah you heard me “failure”.

Hold on, stay connected, fight for them and let them fight for you.

Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together- Jon Katz

Edited by Ovuson John

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*Wanna know how to make a girl you've been admiring fall for you and keep her in your embrace for a long time or a life time? Hold on for the article "How to get a girl and Keep her".

* Have you ever be heartbroken? "How to sustain heartbreak" is coming up for you too.